Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Importance of Friend

Lately I've been going through some shit. Everyone does I know. Getting upset over stupid stuff, things I have no control of and re-evaluating my life and choices. Hard realizations for anyone, even harder when you live in a foreign country without the support system of nearby friends and family.

We live our lives, and day to day bullshit sometimes gets in the way of being in touch with the people that mean the most to us. We're all guilty of it at some level. I miss my girlfriends, most of whom I don't speak with enough, time differences, my travel schedule etc....

Today May 3rd, and on May 3rd of the past few years I am reminded of the importance of our truest friends, the ones that you know no matter how much time has passed or how long you haven't spoken will always be there for you and you for them. This reminder comes in the way of a letter. A letter written by a very special person Mary Marbach who I knew years ago in college thru a mutual friend who has since passed.

Our mutual friend Jennifer was at a time a very close friend of mine but soon after graduating we lost touch and it was about 4 years ago through Facebook that Mary found me and broke the heartbreaking news of her passing.

As a tribute to THEIR friendship, Mary & Jennifer's ( which we can all learn from ) each year on May 3rd, Jen's Birthday Mary posts a letter that she wrote for her friend. It is a very special letter that should remind us all to take the time even if for just a day to let our truest friends know what they mean to us.

Thanks Mary for letting me post your letter and reminding me of what is really important and where the heart belongs. For anyone that reads this , do as Mary asks and share it with the friends who mean the most.

A Super SPECIAL tribute from one friend to another :))

My best friend, Jennifer, was born on May 3, 1967. She would have been 45 today.

Jennifer was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease in 1997. She promised me, way back then, that she wouldn't die, and I made her put it in writing. It is the only promise to me she couldn't keep.

While she was fighting cancer, we spent a lot of time together. A serious illness changes a friendship in ways you cannot ...
imagine. You stop taking each other for granted. You start to appreciate the importance of your friendship. We told each other “I love you” every time we hung up the phone. We talked about how much we meant to each other. Jennifer took to signing her cards to me "Your friendship means the world to me." I told her, over and over, how lucky I was that she was my best friend. I still feel that way... that I was lucky beyond measure to have had a best friend like her.

When she died, I was thankful that I’d taken the time to tell her how very much I loved her, and that I could not imagine my world without her. And I was also thankful that I’d heard her say all those things to me. I never had a moment where I thought “I wish she knew…” because she did. She knew.

I still think of her every single day. I would give almost anything to have another conversation with her.

I tell people all the time that "love" is an action verb. One of the hardest things about loving someone who's gone is trying to make that love into an action verb.

Every year on her birthday, to honor her memory, I ask everyone I know, please, call your best friend to tell them you love them, and that you are grateful to have them in your life. Say that I asked you to do this, as a way of keeping the memory of my Jennifer alive. I haven’t stopped loving her. I may not be able to talk to her or see her or hug her, but I can and I do continue to love her. Thank you for helping me make that love an action verb.
I love you, Jennifer. I miss you. Always have. Always will. Happy Birthday, Girlfriend.


  1. What a lovely letter and tribute! I learn more and more every day that it’s not about stuff, but rather about the people and experiences in our lives. Indeed, what would we do without our friends? BTW, your opening paragraph really struck a chord with me. If it’s any consolation, I’ve been going through some major shit and re-evaluating choices as well. Though I can’t change what has happened in the past, I can keep forging forward, one day at a time, and take those life lessons to heart. That which does not kill us makes us stronger … or so they say. Some days I really wonder if there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel. As cliché as it may sound, though, this too shall pass and just more of what molds me into the person I am becoming. I don’t technically “know” you, but what I’ve learned from your travel journals is that you are a strong and amazing woman. Continue to be fabulous you, carry on, and remember you’ve got oodles of friends!

  2. Thanks so much Lynn for taking the time to does mean alot to me :)I've been traveling so much recently for work i don't get much time to update but I at least hope that the entries i do post touch anyone reading in someway...sometimes funny...sometimes heartfelt but always honest :)